Making Sense of What They Say

Today's blog is a tongue in cheek look at some of the crazy things that are said by analysts and pundits on television screens and radio shows around the globe and how meaningless these sayings are.  The funny part is that often we take these things seriously rather than realizing the stupidity of the situation.  I hope you enjoy this light hearted look at the investment industry particularly as I am sure to have said numerous of these on my radio show and throughout my blog posts!

1.  "We are cautiously optimistic." - and you are also an oxymoron as either you are cautious or your are optimistic but you can't have both!

2.  "We are neutral on this stock." - Really?  So you own the stock and are praying for a recovery or you are dumping it to some other sucker or you have really just wasted my time and yours by talking about this!

3.  "We are waiting for more certainty." - Good luck with that, oh, and when you find certainty let me know as that is definitely the day I dump my entire position.

4.  "He was tired of throwing his money away renting so he bought a house." - Wow he must have paid cash because otherwise he is throwing his money straight to the bank.  (Obviously there is upside to owning a home that is not available to renters but then say it properly.)

5.  "Today the market fell (or rose) by 85 points as investors exited (bought) on the news that ABC Corp earnings were worse (better) than expect." -  Yeah right that is exactly why the market moved today, every other stock moved in tandem because of this one stock's earnings announcement.  Please stop making things up.

6.  "Earnings were positive except for a one time charge." - Then they were not positive they were negative and you my friend own that stock!

7.  "Earnings missed estimates." - Why do earnings have to meet or exceed estimates?  Obviously the estimates were wrong.  Why do people buy stocks based on these estimates rather than the long term business outlook of the company (as Warren Buffet does) and why does the headline not say 'estimates missed earnings as the analyst once again failed in their prediction'?

8.  "It's a stock pickers market." - So certain stocks have run and those are not part of the index in which you invested meaning that blindly investing in indices did not work this year.  Let's hope that next year we can go back to business as normal burying our heads in the sand once again and expecting the future to take care of itself because we would hate to have to work to make money!

9.  "There is a lot of cash on the sidelines." - I have looked and I cannot find a sideline anywhere.  In fact when the person who sold their position took their cash to the "sideline" there had to be another person buying otherwise the stock would have gone to zero!

10.  "The next Black Swan event will come from ..." - Poor Mr. Taleb, he must shudder every time someone mentions where the next Black Swan event will come from.  The whole point here is that no-one knows where the Black Swans are and that is why they are so catastrophic when they appear.  If we could predict the next Black Swan it would be a non event not a Black Swan event!